travel lover!

At the beginning of this year, I chose “expansion” as my guiding word. It was meant to symbolize growth, opportunity, and abundance—a year of blossoming into my best self. But life, as always, had other plans. Instead of expansion, my year felt like an unrelenting exercise in contraction.

The first blow came in January with the unexpected death of our beloved 18-month-old cat, Ivy. Her loss shattered me in ways I didn’t anticipate. What started as a month of daily sobbing unraveled years of buried pain and hurt I didn’t know I was still carrying. What I thought was simply grief over Ivy led to a diagnosis of severe depression. It felt jarring to hear those words, as I didn’t feel “severe.” But grief, I’ve learned, doesn’t operate on tidy timelines or terms we can control.

On top of that came the usual challenges of family life—those everyday hurdles of raising kids and managing relationships. And if that wasn’t enough, Google’s massive changes to online publishing brought financial instability that tested every ounce of our resilience. Survival mode became our default, and pivoting became second nature. Expansion? It felt like a far-off dream.

Yet, amid all the contraction, I began to understand something profound: growth isn’t linear, and it often requires breaking down before building up. Like a seed that cracks open before it sprouts or a muscle that tears before it strengthens, I had to face the pain head-on to create space for healing.

This year has taught me that nothing in life is certain. Challenges, pain, and loss will inevitably come. But the choice we make—to confront these struggles with intention and a commitment to growth—is what defines us. Expansion isn’t about bypassing the hard stuff; it’s about learning to breathe through it, finding the lessons, and coming out stronger on the other side.

For me, this shift began with small, consistent practices: daily meditation, breathwork, and inner healing. Over the past couple of months, I’ve felt the wheels of expansion begin to turn again. I’m not quite there yet, but the spark of joy, peace, and kindness is returning.

If there’s one thing I hope my story can remind you of, it’s this: contraction often precedes expansion. You have to face the hard truths, feel the pain, and do the work to grow. Otherwise, those feelings get locked away, festering behind unseen doors—until one day they burst. And trust me, it’s better to face the storm than let it catch you off guard.

As we close out the year, I invite you to reflect on your own journey. Where have you contracted? Where can you make space for expansion? Life’s challenges are inevitable, but the way we show up for them shapes who we become.

Here’s to a new year of healing, growth, and, finally, expansion.

Caroline

P.S. I have my new word for next year. I’ll share that with you in the NY!! For now, take time to reflect on the year that was and celebrate it with your loved ones over the final week and a bit of 2024.

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